My oldest child, Arianna who is 3 years old is one of the funniest little people I know. She's cute and she makes me laugh so hard sometimes. This is such a fun age...really! So I thought I'd share some of her little sayings:
Me: Arianna, please put that napkin on the table and not the floor.
Arianna: Why?
Me: Because the floor is not clean.
Arianna: well CLEAN IT!
(on this one I had to turn around and laugh but get on her case because she does not speak to mommy in that tone. I have to add she waved her hands dramatically and yelled when she told me to clean the floor.)
Arianna: Are we going to church?
Daddy: No, we are going to church tomorrow.
Arianna: But I'm wearing a dress....
Arianna: A rat looks like an ugly mouse. Our mouses are beautiful, but they got hurt and needed a doctor.
Arianna: the spider was beautiful. I didn't like the legs though.
Me: Just eat 5 bites and you can get up
Arianna: How about 3?
Me: No, you eat 5 and your done.
Arianna: okay 4 then.
The little booger is a negotiator too.
Joyce (Grandma): Arianna becareful when I open this door.
Arianna: Grandma, you're going to kill me!
There's just so many more too and I wish I could remember them all, but I had to share some of these because she's a hot mess! :) I love my little bug and couldn't imagine my life without her.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
My American Idol Experience
Not many people know about what I did this past weekend....soooo I'm going to-feeling a little bummed-share my true American Idol experience and all someone has to go through just to get through. I challenged myself and took my voice to the streets and prejudges of American Idol along with about 16,000 other people. Yep, I was that person, who got there at 5am, waited in line for 3 hours, marched to the Bridgestone Arena and sat and waited for another 9 hours to get the judges to hear my voice for only a 20 second period slot. 12 hours later, I'm walking out!! It was one of the longest days of my life! Truly.
Over the years, I've been told that my voice is good and that I should try to do something with it. So, I gave it a shot. I'm 28 years old and it's my last year to try. Cutting off age is 28. I truly love and enjoy singing! I don't think I'm horrible, however I would never put myself under the category of 'most amazing' singer. I would simply say, I'm good and can carry a tune.
I've done a lot of solos in church, have been backup for the Gaither Homecoming Tour and Avalon, worked on projects for Lifeway's Rickshaw CD-VBS project, winner of some karoke contests, sung at work events and am currently working on my very own never-ending Christian cd. I have enjoyed every experience thus far and everything has helped me grow a lot! So I thought, why not take it a bit further possibly?
I've watched American Idol since the infamous Kelly Clarkson won the first American Idol in History. I've watched them all. From Carrie Underwood to Kris Allen to Lee DeWyze. So I thought...what if...what if I could become something bigger or for that matter make connections...so I took myself to the try outs,by myself. Everyone had their boyfriends, girlfriends, moms, dads, husbands, wives, best friends, you name it. I seroiusly talked to no one who came alone. Why didn't Robert go...someone had to keep the girls, my sisters weren't available, parents out of town, etc... everyone had something going on. In some ways, I wanted someone there with me to support me or simply to have someone there to talk to, but in other ways, I would have felt bad for someone to be there with me for that long and waste their day. I was happy I went even though. As you probably already figured, I didn't make it..not even through the first rounds.
At 5am waiting in a huge crowd!!
Here is the 'crowd' behind me. notice how far back the line goes?!
And another.....check how far up it goes...
here are the peeps I met who were trying out as well. From left to right, Nata, Lisa, Wierdo Ben and me! I look like a shrimp next to them. Watch season 10 and you may possibly see one of them.
Once inside the arena
Check out the crowd of auditioners
okay so here is where it gets interesting...they put 24 judges on the floor, they call you by section and you go down to the arena floor in groups of 4 people.
So yes, everyone around you hears you singing. You don't get to the actual tv judges until like round 4. After this first round you sing in front of producers, then you sing to the executives, then you finally sing to the tv judges...what we actually watch on tv! No one really knows how much one has to go through just to get to them.
Here are people auditioning now in groups-once your on floor you go up to judges- sing and you either get to go to another round and go out the left side (winners door) or you go out the losers door on the right side. :) 
Over the years, I've been told that my voice is good and that I should try to do something with it. So, I gave it a shot. I'm 28 years old and it's my last year to try. Cutting off age is 28. I truly love and enjoy singing! I don't think I'm horrible, however I would never put myself under the category of 'most amazing' singer. I would simply say, I'm good and can carry a tune.
I've done a lot of solos in church, have been backup for the Gaither Homecoming Tour and Avalon, worked on projects for Lifeway's Rickshaw CD-VBS project, winner of some karoke contests, sung at work events and am currently working on my very own never-ending Christian cd. I have enjoyed every experience thus far and everything has helped me grow a lot! So I thought, why not take it a bit further possibly?
I've watched American Idol since the infamous Kelly Clarkson won the first American Idol in History. I've watched them all. From Carrie Underwood to Kris Allen to Lee DeWyze. So I thought...what if...what if I could become something bigger or for that matter make connections...so I took myself to the try outs,by myself. Everyone had their boyfriends, girlfriends, moms, dads, husbands, wives, best friends, you name it. I seroiusly talked to no one who came alone. Why didn't Robert go...someone had to keep the girls, my sisters weren't available, parents out of town, etc... everyone had something going on. In some ways, I wanted someone there with me to support me or simply to have someone there to talk to, but in other ways, I would have felt bad for someone to be there with me for that long and waste their day. I was happy I went even though. As you probably already figured, I didn't make it..not even through the first rounds.
So here's how it goes: I decided Wednesday evening to give this a shot. I went to the arena Thursday to register and get a wristband to then go back on Saturday morning. On Saturday, while patiently waiting along with everyone else, I met a group of people (pictured below). Nata wouldn't sing, Lisa sang country and was not good at all. I felt bad for her in some ways because her friend was obviously not being honest with her. Now, the bigger looking napoleon dynamite guy who looks goofy, I honestly didn't think he was going to be able to sing. Well, I was way WRONG! He was amazing-yes in that category!! He tried last year in Atlanta and didn't get through. He came back to try once more. He's only 18 years old young! He's got many years ahead of him to try if he didn't make it again. I couldn't tell you whether he made it or not because we all had assigned seating in the arena. He was in level 3 while I was in level 2.
Here I am with my wrist band, a few hours before leaving the house at 4am! Excited and pumped! I look tired and the day hadn't even started!
At 5am waiting in a huge crowd!!
Here is the 'crowd' behind me. notice how far back the line goes?! And another.....check how far up it goes...
here are the peeps I met who were trying out as well. From left to right, Nata, Lisa, Wierdo Ben and me! I look like a shrimp next to them. Watch season 10 and you may possibly see one of them.
Once inside the arena
Check out the crowd of auditioners
okay so here is where it gets interesting...they put 24 judges on the floor, they call you by section and you go down to the arena floor in groups of 4 people.So yes, everyone around you hears you singing. You don't get to the actual tv judges until like round 4. After this first round you sing in front of producers, then you sing to the executives, then you finally sing to the tv judges...what we actually watch on tv! No one really knows how much one has to go through just to get to them.
Here are people auditioning now in groups-once your on floor you go up to judges- sing and you either get to go to another round and go out the left side (winners door) or you go out the losers door on the right side. :) 
So honestly by the time I got to the floor at close to 5pm, I had maybe seen 75 tickets given out. Out of thousands who had already volunteered. A friend told me they thought maybe only 100 tickets were given out for Nashville alone. It's hard to get through. REALLY HARD! They pass stupid people like hula hoop dancers, nerds who can't sing, people who act stupid..which maybe I should have done. Great singers are overlooked and it makes me hate the show! In the group I went with..no one got through..not even the groups in front of me. There's was a girl who I honestly thought would make it. She was cute, sang awesome and could hit some high notes! But no..instead the guy next to her who was nerdy and sang stupidly made it. All for entertainment purposes. So the world could make fun of him. That's sad! I do hope that someone in Nashville can sing. I didn't hear everyone's voices so I'm not so sure. They would have had to pick some good people. When I went up, I decided at the last minute to sing, "Eyes on the Sparrow". I thought I could show of my voice qualities good with that one. Even the crowd outside told me I should sing that one. It was that one or either 'Only Hope' by Mandy Moore (why, because everyone has forgotten that song and it's beautiful). Yes, I sang to a group of people outside the doors. So I went up to my two judges, was very personable with them, even told the one lady, that I had seen her on tv and that it was so awesome to be standing before her..well yeah, that didn't work. I sang, she said, very nice, and I moved back. After the 4 of us sang, they called us to their table and said it wasn't season 10 worth! Whatever that means! I sang my little heart out and nothing!
I'm glad however that I tried. Had I not gone, I would have regretted it and would have thought, 'what if..' So I am happy I went, even though it was a 12 hour day. I can at least now say, I've tried for American Idol.
And well..here I am back home holding my only souvenir ticket after NOT making it past those stupid judges..something I can keep to say, yep, been there done that.
That's my true American Idol Experience.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Dumbfounded
Maybe it's just me-I don't know, but I was completely astonished when I read the article. Shocked more like it. I receive a daily email from 'mamapedia' on motherly advise. Most of the time, I delete it, however this time the title 'Feeling Unappreciated' caught my eye and I had to see what it was about. Now don't go off thinking I'm feeling sorry for myself-I just wanted to read it.
Any ways, apparently there is a website dedicated to helping people have affairs and helping them conceal it from their spouse! Okay, first off, this is absolutely ridiculous and I had no idea sites like this even existed. Maybe this is old news and I'm just out of the loop, but REALLY? On an average Monday, 3,000 women sign up after not feeling appreciated from their husbands. The day after mother's day, no joke, 31,000 women signed up for this. Obviously these women aren't recieving the attention and they are looking for the comfort and love they aren't getting. I mean, I think at some point, or several times during my marriage I have felt like this. I would lie if I said i didn't. I'm sure other wifes or even mother's have felt like this before. The email I recieve talked about tips in how to improve your marriage before going to this stupid website. But it seriously blew my mind to know such a thing.
It saddens my heart that our world is already so corrupt and it continues to get worse. Satan is out to attack families and knows exactly what he's doing. He's tearing families apart! I will not let it happen to mine. Prayer is continuous. I love my husband and children dearly...there are times yes-honestly I feel unapreciated for the things I do and I would love to be put on a pedestal, but it's simply not going to happen ALL the time. I'm sure he feels the same way at times. We get caught up in our daily schedules that we forget at times to say, 'thank you.' God put Robert in my life and he's the one I'm going to honor. I know there are marriages that simply don't work and affairs happen on a daily basis. Life is hard and mistakes happen yes, but to have a website to help people find affairs kills me. Those people who created this business will one day stand before God. I pray that whoever reads this, will seek God's help rather than a website full of garbage!
Any ways, apparently there is a website dedicated to helping people have affairs and helping them conceal it from their spouse! Okay, first off, this is absolutely ridiculous and I had no idea sites like this even existed. Maybe this is old news and I'm just out of the loop, but REALLY? On an average Monday, 3,000 women sign up after not feeling appreciated from their husbands. The day after mother's day, no joke, 31,000 women signed up for this. Obviously these women aren't recieving the attention and they are looking for the comfort and love they aren't getting. I mean, I think at some point, or several times during my marriage I have felt like this. I would lie if I said i didn't. I'm sure other wifes or even mother's have felt like this before. The email I recieve talked about tips in how to improve your marriage before going to this stupid website. But it seriously blew my mind to know such a thing.
It saddens my heart that our world is already so corrupt and it continues to get worse. Satan is out to attack families and knows exactly what he's doing. He's tearing families apart! I will not let it happen to mine. Prayer is continuous. I love my husband and children dearly...there are times yes-honestly I feel unapreciated for the things I do and I would love to be put on a pedestal, but it's simply not going to happen ALL the time. I'm sure he feels the same way at times. We get caught up in our daily schedules that we forget at times to say, 'thank you.' God put Robert in my life and he's the one I'm going to honor. I know there are marriages that simply don't work and affairs happen on a daily basis. Life is hard and mistakes happen yes, but to have a website to help people find affairs kills me. Those people who created this business will one day stand before God. I pray that whoever reads this, will seek God's help rather than a website full of garbage!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Relieved
I know this is TMI and I'm going to share my thoughts for a second, but I woke up this morning to my period. Yep! I was happy. I smiled so big, looked up and said, thank you Jesus. For a bit there I thought I may be pregnant again. My periods have been coming regularly, however I didn't get a period last month and I was getting a bit worried. My husband and I figured it was the change in birth control. This time, I'm on the white sugar pill week, suppose to get it and it's Wednesday before I get it. I've never been one of those lucky girls who knows the day and time of when it's going to hit. So I just didn't know if it was coming. Its more of a gambling game for me, 'maybe today or maybe tomorrow, maybe now..i better be ready'.
In the last few days I've been soooo tired and I thought for a second yesterday, 'this is the very way I felt before I found out I was having Avonlea'! I came home straight from work and seriously crashed. Now, this doesn't happen often since the girls are normally home, but they were with their grandmother so I had a chance to actually take a nap. Otherwise, naps would be out of the question. And normally had I been pregnant I would have already gotten sick which didn't happen this time around. So really, I don't know why I worried so much.
Any ways, I'm good. No babies anytime soon. I seriously would die telling work I was pregnant again. I'm not quite ready for a 3rd child just yet. :) I don't think I could handle it right now. One day...just not now. I'd like Avonlea to be at least 2-3 before I even consider once again. Oh and I would actually LOVE to plan the next one since that hasn't happened with either of my girls. So thank you God for my period. I'm so relieved.
In the last few days I've been soooo tired and I thought for a second yesterday, 'this is the very way I felt before I found out I was having Avonlea'! I came home straight from work and seriously crashed. Now, this doesn't happen often since the girls are normally home, but they were with their grandmother so I had a chance to actually take a nap. Otherwise, naps would be out of the question. And normally had I been pregnant I would have already gotten sick which didn't happen this time around. So really, I don't know why I worried so much.
Any ways, I'm good. No babies anytime soon. I seriously would die telling work I was pregnant again. I'm not quite ready for a 3rd child just yet. :) I don't think I could handle it right now. One day...just not now. I'd like Avonlea to be at least 2-3 before I even consider once again. Oh and I would actually LOVE to plan the next one since that hasn't happened with either of my girls. So thank you God for my period. I'm so relieved.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Uh oh!
So I'm trying to play around with this whole blog thing by learning and creating my own personal likes. I'm really messing this up. This is hideous. Sorry pooka, Kris. I know you worked so hard. I have no idea what I just did. This is only temporary. I don't know what I just did, but it makes me want to spend my whole work day working on it but I can't or I'll seriously get caught. Our IT staff could seriously get on my case about this. My boss would fire me if she knew I was spending my time on blogs and facebook.
Okay, so I seriously have a problem with computers. I'm good when it comes to spreadsheets, word documents, power points, etc...It's what I do and what I've learned throughout my professional career, however when it comes to designing blogs, facebook, uploading stuff, I'm crap, doodo, caca, you name it that's what I am when it comes to this stuff. :) I admit it. Have patience...my time will come and you'll be so blown away by my creativity that you'll be like, "What?! Esther can do this-Brilliant?!"
Okay, so I seriously have a problem with computers. I'm good when it comes to spreadsheets, word documents, power points, etc...It's what I do and what I've learned throughout my professional career, however when it comes to designing blogs, facebook, uploading stuff, I'm crap, doodo, caca, you name it that's what I am when it comes to this stuff. :) I admit it. Have patience...my time will come and you'll be so blown away by my creativity that you'll be like, "What?! Esther can do this-Brilliant?!"
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Me...a procrastinator..NO WAY!
Okay so here are a few of the things I've got to do:
Update my blog and post pictures, figure out the what's and how's of blogging (I'm amazed at what others can do. I'm so clueless), hang pictures on my walls, hang chinese lanterns in Arianna's room, hang a shelf in Avonlea's room, paint several canvas paintings for Arianna's room, girls bathroom, and 2 friends, put curtains up throughout my ENTIRE house, print pictures to put in all these frames I bought I a long time ago, take the time to make picture books for both girls, organize my entire photo file, take Arianna to her first dental appointment (she turned 3 in March for goodness sake), organize all my closets, find baskets for my cubicle organizer, go through all of the girls clothing and seperate what they fit and can't fit into, garage cleaning, paint front door, buy kitchen knobs to change out my hideous gold ones that I have, change out light fixtures by front door and dining room, buy a dining table with buffet, finish staining deck, landscape, find patio furniture, and the list goes on and on. Pretty much in a nut shell, FINISH DECORATING MY HOUSE! I have cute ideas and in my head I vision my house looking beautiful, but it's just taking forever. I've had my house now for 2 years in August and I have so much to do it stresses me out. I take pride in all my friends who are so good at getting things done. I have to say I work really well under pressure, however, it stresses me out and it's really not worth it. I've been like this my entire life and can't seem to get out of it. I remember I use to stay up until 3am finishing art work or school projects because I waited until the very last minute to start it.
So if I can make myself sit down on the computer sometime this week after work, I'll post some pics of Rob's graduation which took place May 8 (sad I know), our Lost party (May also), and our Arkansas trip. Oh and I guess I do have to update facebook as well. ughh!
Update my blog and post pictures, figure out the what's and how's of blogging (I'm amazed at what others can do. I'm so clueless), hang pictures on my walls, hang chinese lanterns in Arianna's room, hang a shelf in Avonlea's room, paint several canvas paintings for Arianna's room, girls bathroom, and 2 friends, put curtains up throughout my ENTIRE house, print pictures to put in all these frames I bought I a long time ago, take the time to make picture books for both girls, organize my entire photo file, take Arianna to her first dental appointment (she turned 3 in March for goodness sake), organize all my closets, find baskets for my cubicle organizer, go through all of the girls clothing and seperate what they fit and can't fit into, garage cleaning, paint front door, buy kitchen knobs to change out my hideous gold ones that I have, change out light fixtures by front door and dining room, buy a dining table with buffet, finish staining deck, landscape, find patio furniture, and the list goes on and on. Pretty much in a nut shell, FINISH DECORATING MY HOUSE! I have cute ideas and in my head I vision my house looking beautiful, but it's just taking forever. I've had my house now for 2 years in August and I have so much to do it stresses me out. I take pride in all my friends who are so good at getting things done. I have to say I work really well under pressure, however, it stresses me out and it's really not worth it. I've been like this my entire life and can't seem to get out of it. I remember I use to stay up until 3am finishing art work or school projects because I waited until the very last minute to start it.
So if I can make myself sit down on the computer sometime this week after work, I'll post some pics of Rob's graduation which took place May 8 (sad I know), our Lost party (May also), and our Arkansas trip. Oh and I guess I do have to update facebook as well. ughh!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Sometimes it's good to let out a good cry
If you know me, you know I'm an emotional person. I can't help it. If someone cries, I cry with them. I cry during commercials, shows, movies, I cry when I don't understand people, I cry if I don't get my way, I cry when my children make me mad and when they make me happy. I cry when I see people suffering. There's so much I can't even begin to tell you. Right now I have to vent and get it off my chest because I started crying thinking about it.
I get so mad that I can't be a stay at home mom like so many mom's out there. I get jealous, but yet am so happy for them because they are able to do it. I get mad because I feel I can't be that good mom like they are, like taking them to the park, reading hour at the library, the zoo, going out on play dates, going for a good swim on a hot day like today, etc... by the time I get home I'm so tired to even do much! I don't even need to be a 24/7 stay at home mommy, but part time, working like 2 days a week and that's it! That would make me oh so happy. Right now I only see them less than 4 hours a day Monday-Friday. How sad is that?! Work sucks the life out of me and my time! I leave my house at 6:15 am to not even get home until 4:30ish. They then go to sleep at 8pm. I spend more time at work then I do my own family! I just want to scream!!!!
For over 3 years now my desire has been to be home, to see my children grow. Arianna is three years old and a sponge taking in everything around her. She's growing up way too fast and I feel as though I'm missing it all. Avonlea is in awe of the world around her. She's 9 months! She's crawling, standing with support, and eating all sorts of foods. I'm missing out on everything she's learning to do. Or at least it feels that way. At the moment, my husband is a stay at home daddy. He just graduated and his job laid him off. Any ways, I have to admit, I wish I was the one in his position. When he tells me he's playing outside with them, I think, "i want to be there so badly."
It's just not fair! but I'm being so selfish for thinking this way. God has blessed us in so many ways! I know I shouldn't be complaining. I have a job and am blessed to have a beautiful family. God knows the desires of my heart and I just have to be patient, which is so hard for me. I've prayed this prayer a zillion times, 'GOD, you know I want to be home, please make it possible." the time will come and I have to wait. I will never understand God and i have no right to...but He will make it happen...IN HIS TIMING.
I get so mad that I can't be a stay at home mom like so many mom's out there. I get jealous, but yet am so happy for them because they are able to do it. I get mad because I feel I can't be that good mom like they are, like taking them to the park, reading hour at the library, the zoo, going out on play dates, going for a good swim on a hot day like today, etc... by the time I get home I'm so tired to even do much! I don't even need to be a 24/7 stay at home mommy, but part time, working like 2 days a week and that's it! That would make me oh so happy. Right now I only see them less than 4 hours a day Monday-Friday. How sad is that?! Work sucks the life out of me and my time! I leave my house at 6:15 am to not even get home until 4:30ish. They then go to sleep at 8pm. I spend more time at work then I do my own family! I just want to scream!!!!
For over 3 years now my desire has been to be home, to see my children grow. Arianna is three years old and a sponge taking in everything around her. She's growing up way too fast and I feel as though I'm missing it all. Avonlea is in awe of the world around her. She's 9 months! She's crawling, standing with support, and eating all sorts of foods. I'm missing out on everything she's learning to do. Or at least it feels that way. At the moment, my husband is a stay at home daddy. He just graduated and his job laid him off. Any ways, I have to admit, I wish I was the one in his position. When he tells me he's playing outside with them, I think, "i want to be there so badly."
It's just not fair! but I'm being so selfish for thinking this way. God has blessed us in so many ways! I know I shouldn't be complaining. I have a job and am blessed to have a beautiful family. God knows the desires of my heart and I just have to be patient, which is so hard for me. I've prayed this prayer a zillion times, 'GOD, you know I want to be home, please make it possible." the time will come and I have to wait. I will never understand God and i have no right to...but He will make it happen...IN HIS TIMING.
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