What do you do when you hear bad news? Do you start thinking bad thoughts, do you go into quiet mode, or does it just depend on the situation? Well I have to just say, life just sometimes isn't fair.
Well, I heard bad news today. My mom called me today to tell me the unexpected. She's got breast cancer AGAIN! When I thought things were just turning around with her and she was beginnig to feel so much better she has to go through it all over again. The cancer has come back. I hate that word. I seriously just ran the Susan Komen 5k in her honor because I was so proud of her for succeeding and overcoming breast cancer. It frustrates me really, however I'm no one to question God. God has everything under control, God took care of her the first time and I know he'll once more do it again.
My mom is having to do Chemo once again and suffer thruogh the devestation of losing her hair all over again. A woman's pride right?! Why am I even thinking about her hair? I couldn't help but cry as soon as I got off the phone with her. I wouldn't do it while on the phone with her. I started thinking things I probably shouldn't have been thinking about. My mom is so strong. She was strong and was able to make it through the first time okay. I couldn't help but think about how I may not have my mom around for much longer and it just tore me up. My mom and I are so close! I couldn't imagine my life without her. I'm being selfish obviously, but I tried to stop myself and started thinking positive thoughts and how she was fine the first time and how she'll get through it again.
This time around she will not be getting radiation. The Dr. said it was too much on her body to go through it again. They discussed she will have a mastectomy this time around with reconstruction in the future. Her cancer is stage 2 as it was the first time but agressive. Her dr. said it's a 'mean' cancer so they need to get on it quickly so it doesn't spread, we hope and pray it isn't in her lymphnodes. She will start everything as soon as thanksgiving passes.
For anyone who reads this blog, please keep my mom in your prayers. She's a tough one, but I know it wears on her. She needs strength to get through this once again and for the second time look back and say..."I made it through with God's help!" God works in miraculous ways and I know He'll help her through. I want to be able to run the Susan Komen again and know she's overcomed it again and once and for all!
I'm never moving again.
3 days ago